One of my very favorite mothers in history is Mary Ball Washington, George Washington's mother. She was spunky, stubborn, humble, kind, and amazing. Here is a link for very basic information on her. I'm looking for more.
http://www.historypoint.org/columns2.asp?column_id=945&column_type=hpfeature
Who are your favorites?
Friday, November 7, 2008
Character Building Experiences
When I was a kid and "bad" things happened to me my Mom would always say that it was a character building experience. This summer my daughter worked in an un-airconditioned warehouse, driving a forklift, for 8 hours a day to earn money for college. I kept telling her it was a character building experience - AND it was.
What are these and why are they so great?
Character building experiences and how to facilitate them. How to help your children get over the walls in their lives by helping them see that they are not there to block them but to test them. Like in The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. What is character and is it available in stores everywhere?
Here is a link to the most amazing book EVER written on Character, appropriately titled "Character" by Samuel Smiles (what a fun last name!) http://www.fullbooks.com/Character.html
What are these and why are they so great?
Character building experiences and how to facilitate them. How to help your children get over the walls in their lives by helping them see that they are not there to block them but to test them. Like in The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. What is character and is it available in stores everywhere?
Here is a link to the most amazing book EVER written on Character, appropriately titled "Character" by Samuel Smiles (what a fun last name!) http://www.fullbooks.com/Character.html
Nurturers and the Media
How media is dulling our natural instincts to be nurturers. Electronics for good and bad. How we can use technology not be used by it.
For example - Reality shows - where is the nurturer there? Where is the mom? Is this reality - if so then I don't want any part of it! I want a real mom who nurtures her children and others children! T.V. executives may accuse me of making up a fairyland but I say, like Puddleglum in C.S. Lewis' Silver Chair - "Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all of those things—trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones."
For example - Reality shows - where is the nurturer there? Where is the mom? Is this reality - if so then I don't want any part of it! I want a real mom who nurtures her children and others children! T.V. executives may accuse me of making up a fairyland but I say, like Puddleglum in C.S. Lewis' Silver Chair - "Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all of those things—trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones."
What does a Watchful Mother Do?
Here is a short list of idea catagories that I've started on. I'd love ideas on any of these - or new catagories.
What does a watchful mother do - how does she function? Why does she function? Why is this important?
- Books - how to choose these, examples, my own list
- Experiences - they don't have to be expensive
- Inspiring Words - make them permament
- Beautiful Memory pictures to go back to all throughout life
- Service to others
- Real work, real abilities
What does a watchful mother do - how does she function? Why does she function? Why is this important?
- Books - how to choose these, examples, my own list
- Experiences - they don't have to be expensive
- Inspiring Words - make them permament
- Beautiful Memory pictures to go back to all throughout life
- Service to others
- Real work, real abilities
What we can learn from a mother cat
Last year we got a kitten. It was really fun, except when we caught her on the counter licking the butter. That was not so fun. Then after a few months an interesting thing happened, our little kitten, our pride and joy, turned out to be expecting. Kittens. She had been consorting with the riffraff cats from over the fence. It was a shock, but we dealt with it. We read up on kittens and I decided that if our cat was going to have kittens (even if the father was riffraff) they were going to be the best kittens there ever were. (So scary, it sounds like my approach to motherhood).
So eventually the cat (no longer the kitten) had her four darling kittens in our teenage daughters' closet. And they were so cute and we kept everyone out and let her have peace and quiet, with only occassional sneaking down and looking at the cute little fuzzy critters.
I thought we were doing so much for her, until I started really watching what she was doing for them. These are some of the things that I saw -
She kept them clean, safe, and well fed. She was warm & fuzzy. She kept her eyes wide open watching their development and pulled them back home when they wondered to far. You can talk a child through a problem, but you can't just get them out of them (like being in a tight spot behind the piano). Know who your enemies are and take action. Take care of mom too. Teach them to take care of themselves and then let them do it ...
So eventually the cat (no longer the kitten) had her four darling kittens in our teenage daughters' closet. And they were so cute and we kept everyone out and let her have peace and quiet, with only occassional sneaking down and looking at the cute little fuzzy critters.
I thought we were doing so much for her, until I started really watching what she was doing for them. These are some of the things that I saw -
She kept them clean, safe, and well fed. She was warm & fuzzy. She kept her eyes wide open watching their development and pulled them back home when they wondered to far. You can talk a child through a problem, but you can't just get them out of them (like being in a tight spot behind the piano). Know who your enemies are and take action. Take care of mom too. Teach them to take care of themselves and then let them do it ...
Put the stick down, move away from the stick
When you go to a talk, seminar, meeting, etc if you take one idea away from it and actually put it into use you made good use of your time. In other words, you're not going to do it all and you don't need to - so put down that stick and stop beating yourself up about it!
On June 5,2002 a 14 year old girl was kidnapped from the safety of her own home, snatched right from the bed she was sharing with a younger sister. Right here in Utah. I’m not taking about bride kidnapping in Shanghi or kurzackstan. This young woman lived in a nice home, a safe neighborhood, with an incredibly caring family. I was shocked and concerned for her safety and for the safety of my own daughters. Who would have thought that such a thing could happen? When she was found 9 months later, after a horrific experience, I celebrated. She had been brainwashed to the point that she didn’t try to escape, but when others recognized her and when her father came to get her she could finally cry and say who she was.
Today I want to talk about a different kind of kidnapping, the kidnapping of our childrens’ hearts and minds. Just like the crazy homeless man who kidnapped this young woman, there are those who want our children. They want to brainwash them and control them, but they’ll do it from the convenience of the nearest electronic media component, whether that be an ipod, a radio, a TV, or computer. They are involved in many industries, music, movies, politics, environmental causes, or alternative religious or lifestyles and many others. They are the embodied philosophies of men come to woo our children and ourselves away from truth, into a wilderness where we can be robbed and beaten and left for dead.
How can we keep our children from being kidnapped by these abductors? We must be watchful mothers, who are the most powerful beings in the universe, it they will only wake up to their power and ability.
Today I want to talk about a different kind of kidnapping, the kidnapping of our childrens’ hearts and minds. Just like the crazy homeless man who kidnapped this young woman, there are those who want our children. They want to brainwash them and control them, but they’ll do it from the convenience of the nearest electronic media component, whether that be an ipod, a radio, a TV, or computer. They are involved in many industries, music, movies, politics, environmental causes, or alternative religious or lifestyles and many others. They are the embodied philosophies of men come to woo our children and ourselves away from truth, into a wilderness where we can be robbed and beaten and left for dead.
How can we keep our children from being kidnapped by these abductors? We must be watchful mothers, who are the most powerful beings in the universe, it they will only wake up to their power and ability.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Giving your child hope - Cheer for the team that exists
Watchful mothers give their children hope. My friend related to me how as a teenager she always felt "out of it" in her small town. Her mother would always say, just you wait, when you get to college there will be those who appreciate you. She was so wise. The day did come and her daughter found her place and continued to find those who appreciated her and supported her in who she was.
In the movie "Hoosiers" a coach comes to a small town in Indiana to coach the high school basketball team. There is a young man who has a gift for the game, but because of past difficulites he no longer wants to play. The rest of the people in town, who don't have lives, are constantly bugging the boy to play. The coach goes to him and tells him that he knows he has a gift but that it is his to use or ignore and that he (the coach) doesn't care if he plays. Then the coach continues to prepare the young men who have chosen to play. When the day comes that the whole town assembles in the high school gym to greet the basketball team for that year they begin to chant and call for the boy who won't play. The coach steps to the mike and says, "This is your team. I would hope that you would cheer for who we are and not for who we aren't."
Sometimes I think I cheer for kids who aren't really on my team. In fact I think they don't even really exist. They only exist in my mind. I need to cheer for My Kids. I need to know who they are and support them and give them hope for their future, not some imaginary future that I keep dreaming up for them.
In the movie "Hoosiers" a coach comes to a small town in Indiana to coach the high school basketball team. There is a young man who has a gift for the game, but because of past difficulites he no longer wants to play. The rest of the people in town, who don't have lives, are constantly bugging the boy to play. The coach goes to him and tells him that he knows he has a gift but that it is his to use or ignore and that he (the coach) doesn't care if he plays. Then the coach continues to prepare the young men who have chosen to play. When the day comes that the whole town assembles in the high school gym to greet the basketball team for that year they begin to chant and call for the boy who won't play. The coach steps to the mike and says, "This is your team. I would hope that you would cheer for who we are and not for who we aren't."
Sometimes I think I cheer for kids who aren't really on my team. In fact I think they don't even really exist. They only exist in my mind. I need to cheer for My Kids. I need to know who they are and support them and give them hope for their future, not some imaginary future that I keep dreaming up for them.
Choosing Books Wisely - 1916
CHOOSING BOOKS WISELY
Excerpts from Roy J. Cook's collection of 101 Famous Poems(Not included in the reprint)
"Read your children's books yourself. Or better still, get your boy or girl to read them aloud to you. Ask yourself during the reading:
'Does this book lay stress on villainy, deception or treachery?'
'Are all the incidents wholesome, probable and true to life?'
'Does it show young people contemptuous toward their elders and successfully opposing them?'
'Do the young characters in the book show respect for teachers and others in authority?'
'Are these characters the kind of young people you would have your children to associate with?'
'Does the book speak of and describe pranks, practical jokes and pieces of thoughtless and cruel mischief as though they were funny and worthy of imitation?'
'Is the English good and is the story written in good style?'
Excerpts from Roy J. Cook's collection of 101 Famous Poems(Not included in the reprint)
"Read your children's books yourself. Or better still, get your boy or girl to read them aloud to you. Ask yourself during the reading:
'Does this book lay stress on villainy, deception or treachery?'
'Are all the incidents wholesome, probable and true to life?'
'Does it show young people contemptuous toward their elders and successfully opposing them?'
'Do the young characters in the book show respect for teachers and others in authority?'
'Are these characters the kind of young people you would have your children to associate with?'
'Does the book speak of and describe pranks, practical jokes and pieces of thoughtless and cruel mischief as though they were funny and worthy of imitation?'
'Is the English good and is the story written in good style?'
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Influence of Woman
"... Unseen, unfelt, she extends her influence far and wide. She is forming the future patriot, statesman, or enemy of his country; more than this, she is sowing the seeds of virtue or vice, which will fit him for Heaven, or for eternal misery. Noble, sublime, is the task of the American mother - - see that it be well performed. ..."
from "Influence of Woman - Past and Present." The Ladies' Companion, September 1840.
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~MA97/riedy/usa.html
"O wondrous ! how little understood, --
Entrusted to the mother's mind along
To fashion genius, form the soul for good,
Inspire a West, or train a Washington !
- Mrs. Hale in Poetical Quotations, 1849.
INFLUENCE OF WOMAN.
BY HON. DANIEL WEBSTER.
It is by the promulgation of sound morals in the community, and more especially by the training and instruction of the young, that woman performs her part towards the preservation of a free government. It is generally admitted that public liberty, the perpetuity of a free constitution, rests on the virtue and intelligence of the community which enjoys it. How is that virtue to be inspired, and how is that intelligence to be communicated? Bonaparte once asked Madame de Stael in what manner he could most promote the happiness of France? Her reply is full of political wisdom. She said, "Instruct the mothers of the French people." Mothers are, indeed, the affectionate and effective teachers of the human race. The mother begins her process of training with the infant in her arms. It is she who directs, so to speak, its first mental and spiritual pulsations. She conducts it along the impressible years of childhood and youth, and hopes to deliver it to the rough contests and tumultuous scenes of life, armed by those good principles which her child has received from maternal care and love.
If we draw within the circle of our contemplation the mothers of a civilized nation, what do we see? We behold so many artificers working, not on frail and perishable matter, but on the immortal mind, moulding and fashioning beings who are to exist forever. We applaud the artist whose skill and genius present the mimic man upon the canvas; we admire and celebrate the sculptor who works out that same image in enduring marble; but how insignificant are these achievements, though the highest and the fairest in all the departments of art, in comparison with the great vocation of human mothers? They work, not upon the canvas that shall fail, or the marble that shall crumble into dust, but upon mind, upon spirit, which is to last forever, and which is to bear, for good or evil, throughout its duration, the impress of a mother's plastic hand.
Our security for the duration of the free institutions which bless our country, depends upon the habits of virtue and the prevalence of knowledge and of education. Knowledge does not comprise all which is contained in the larger term of education. The feelings are to be disciplined; the passions are to be restrained; true and worthy motives are to be inspired; a profound religious feeling is to be instilled; and pure morality inculcated under all circumstances. All this is comprised in education. Mothers who are faithful to this great duty will tell their children that, neither in political nor in any other concerns of life, can man ever withdraw himself from the perpetual obligations of conscience and of duty; that, in every act, whether public or private, he incurs a just responsibility; and that in no condition is he warranted in trifling with important rights and obligations. They will impress upon their children the truth, that the exercise of the elective franchise is a social duty of as solemn a nature as man can be called to perform; that a man may not innocently trifle with his vote; that every free elector is a trustee, as well for others as himself; and that every man, every measure he supports, has an important bearing on the interests of others as well as his own. It is in the inculcation of high and pure morals, such as these, that, in a free republic, woman performs her sacred duty, and fulfills her destiny.
Godey's Lady's Book January, 1852
from "Influence of Woman - Past and Present." The Ladies' Companion, September 1840.
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~MA97/riedy/usa.html
"O wondrous ! how little understood, --
Entrusted to the mother's mind along
To fashion genius, form the soul for good,
Inspire a West, or train a Washington !
- Mrs. Hale in Poetical Quotations, 1849.
INFLUENCE OF WOMAN.
BY HON. DANIEL WEBSTER.
It is by the promulgation of sound morals in the community, and more especially by the training and instruction of the young, that woman performs her part towards the preservation of a free government. It is generally admitted that public liberty, the perpetuity of a free constitution, rests on the virtue and intelligence of the community which enjoys it. How is that virtue to be inspired, and how is that intelligence to be communicated? Bonaparte once asked Madame de Stael in what manner he could most promote the happiness of France? Her reply is full of political wisdom. She said, "Instruct the mothers of the French people." Mothers are, indeed, the affectionate and effective teachers of the human race. The mother begins her process of training with the infant in her arms. It is she who directs, so to speak, its first mental and spiritual pulsations. She conducts it along the impressible years of childhood and youth, and hopes to deliver it to the rough contests and tumultuous scenes of life, armed by those good principles which her child has received from maternal care and love.
If we draw within the circle of our contemplation the mothers of a civilized nation, what do we see? We behold so many artificers working, not on frail and perishable matter, but on the immortal mind, moulding and fashioning beings who are to exist forever. We applaud the artist whose skill and genius present the mimic man upon the canvas; we admire and celebrate the sculptor who works out that same image in enduring marble; but how insignificant are these achievements, though the highest and the fairest in all the departments of art, in comparison with the great vocation of human mothers? They work, not upon the canvas that shall fail, or the marble that shall crumble into dust, but upon mind, upon spirit, which is to last forever, and which is to bear, for good or evil, throughout its duration, the impress of a mother's plastic hand.
Our security for the duration of the free institutions which bless our country, depends upon the habits of virtue and the prevalence of knowledge and of education. Knowledge does not comprise all which is contained in the larger term of education. The feelings are to be disciplined; the passions are to be restrained; true and worthy motives are to be inspired; a profound religious feeling is to be instilled; and pure morality inculcated under all circumstances. All this is comprised in education. Mothers who are faithful to this great duty will tell their children that, neither in political nor in any other concerns of life, can man ever withdraw himself from the perpetual obligations of conscience and of duty; that, in every act, whether public or private, he incurs a just responsibility; and that in no condition is he warranted in trifling with important rights and obligations. They will impress upon their children the truth, that the exercise of the elective franchise is a social duty of as solemn a nature as man can be called to perform; that a man may not innocently trifle with his vote; that every free elector is a trustee, as well for others as himself; and that every man, every measure he supports, has an important bearing on the interests of others as well as his own. It is in the inculcation of high and pure morals, such as these, that, in a free republic, woman performs her sacred duty, and fulfills her destiny.
Godey's Lady's Book January, 1852
What is a Watchful Mother
"Whether your mother is good or bad, any mother is better than no mother at all."
I recently watched a video from PBS that was on-line about women who were kidnapped in China to become "brides". They followed a story of a married woman, with at least 2 children, who was kidnapped from a market and taken to inner Mongolia. Five years later her husband and now 18 year old daughter went to try to rescue her. Because the local police wouldn't co-operate the woman did not return to her family, but stayed with the people who bought her and with her new child. The heart-broken daughter, cried as she said, "Whether your mother is good or bad, any mother is better than no mother at all."
It is true that any mother is better than no mother at all, but what sorts of things make for a good mother? I would like to really figure this one out. As the mother of seven children, I really have a lot of my life invested in mothering. I want to be a good one.
I was reminded of a quote from Uncle Tom's Cabin, Mrs. Shelby, a gentle woman, whose husband has, because of financial pressures, is brought to sell two of their slaves that they treat as family, speaks of how she feels about a mother's duty.
I have talked with Eliza about her boy -- her duty to him as a Christian mother, to watch over him, pray for him, and bring him up in a Christian way; and now what can I say, if you tear him away, and sell him, soul and body, to a profane, unprincipled man, just to save a little money? I have told her that one soul is worth more than all the money in the world; and how will she believe me when she sees us turn round and sell her child? -- sell him, perhaps, to certain ruin of body and soul!"
Then I thought of it, I want to be a Watchful Mother. This blog is dedicated to defining that term.
Copywrite Cynthia Hampton TheWatchfulMother 2008
I recently watched a video from PBS that was on-line about women who were kidnapped in China to become "brides". They followed a story of a married woman, with at least 2 children, who was kidnapped from a market and taken to inner Mongolia. Five years later her husband and now 18 year old daughter went to try to rescue her. Because the local police wouldn't co-operate the woman did not return to her family, but stayed with the people who bought her and with her new child. The heart-broken daughter, cried as she said, "Whether your mother is good or bad, any mother is better than no mother at all."
It is true that any mother is better than no mother at all, but what sorts of things make for a good mother? I would like to really figure this one out. As the mother of seven children, I really have a lot of my life invested in mothering. I want to be a good one.
I was reminded of a quote from Uncle Tom's Cabin, Mrs. Shelby, a gentle woman, whose husband has, because of financial pressures, is brought to sell two of their slaves that they treat as family, speaks of how she feels about a mother's duty.
I have talked with Eliza about her boy -- her duty to him as a Christian mother, to watch over him, pray for him, and bring him up in a Christian way; and now what can I say, if you tear him away, and sell him, soul and body, to a profane, unprincipled man, just to save a little money? I have told her that one soul is worth more than all the money in the world; and how will she believe me when she sees us turn round and sell her child? -- sell him, perhaps, to certain ruin of body and soul!"
Then I thought of it, I want to be a Watchful Mother. This blog is dedicated to defining that term.
Copywrite Cynthia Hampton TheWatchfulMother 2008
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